27 things men do in bed that women hate
Why do men sometimes get it so wrong? (Picture: Paramount)
We threw the question out to Facebook, what things do men do in bed that us women hate?
The answers we got back were sometimes funny, sometimes ridiculous, and sometimes worrying but also achingly true.
Read the 27 things below which contains adult content (obviously, but youve been warned) and then maybe print it out and leave it where your boyfriend can see it
1. When they try to recreate sex positions that theyve obviously seen on some online porn site, and you end up basically doing a headstand, looking a mess and having to listen to them say: Youre loving that arent you babes? Err, no.
2. When youre on top and theyre just staring at you and its like, ahhh what face do I pull? So you just close your eyes and hope for the best.
3. When they ask YOU to put the condom on. Just no.
4. When they think its sexy to spank you so hard that you just want to turn around and punch them in the face.
5. When they just stop, and its like, hello? Did you hear me orgasm? No.
6. Asking do you like that? How about just dont talk and see if I look like I dont want to kill myself/watch Family Guy over your shoulder.
7. When you give them a blow job and they act as if you dont have a gag reflex. How about Im sick all over your penis?
8. When they ask you to strip (which is always awkward what music do you put on?) and then your skinny jeans get stuck round your ankles.
9. When they see random things theyve read online and think theyre a good idea. Err no, I dont want ice rubbed all over my body.
10. When youre in the middle of foreplay and they thrust a finger up your bum with NO warning.
11. When they drag it out because theyre waiting for you to orgasm first. Youre going to be waiting a while for that
12. Trying to go down on you in the morning when youre feeling really unsexy and unclean. Just gross.
13. Putting their fingers everywhere at once like theyre playing some sort of instrument. Far too confusing, you just dont know whats going on down there.
14. When they think its a good idea to stick objects in you. Just no.
15. Casually trying to have anal sex without asking and without lube. It does not just slip in there.
16. Being so aggressive with their hands during foreplay that they pretty much give you internal bleeding.
17. Nipple biting. It just f*****g hurts.
18. Pulling your hair so hard you scream and your eyes water.
19. Baggy boxers. Eww.
20. Man stubble. And not the type thats on his face.
21. When a bloke wants to do 69 but insists hes on top, so you basically suffocate under him. Vom.
22. Eating fried chicken before a blow job. Pretty much the worst taste imaginable.
23. When men rush foreplay and think youre going to orgasm from 27 seconds.
24. Wanting to ejaculate on your face, in your hair, in your eyes.
25. Being passive aggressive when they cant make you orgasm. So sexy.
26. Trying to remove underwear with their teeth. What even is that?
27. Not cleaning properly. Its not attractive to taste urine.
s
Why do men sometimes get it so wrong? (Picture: Paramount)
We threw the question out to Facebook, what things do men do in bed that us women hate?
The answers we got back were sometimes funny, sometimes ridiculous, and sometimes worrying but also achingly true.
Read the 27 things below which contains adult content (obviously, but youve been warned) and then maybe print it out and leave it where your boyfriend can see it
1. When they try to recreate sex positions that theyve obviously seen on some online porn site, and you end up basically doing a headstand, looking a mess and having to listen to them say: Youre loving that arent you babes? Err, no.
2. When youre on top and theyre just staring at you and its like, ahhh what face do I pull? So you just close your eyes and hope for the best.
3. When they ask YOU to put the condom on. Just no.
4. When they think its sexy to spank you so hard that you just want to turn around and punch them in the face.
5. When they just stop, and its like, hello? Did you hear me orgasm? No.
6. Asking do you like that? How about just dont talk and see if I look like I dont want to kill myself/watch Family Guy over your shoulder.
7. When you give them a blow job and they act as if you dont have a gag reflex. How about Im sick all over your penis?
8. When they ask you to strip (which is always awkward what music do you put on?) and then your skinny jeans get stuck round your ankles.
9. When they see random things theyve read online and think theyre a good idea. Err no, I dont want ice rubbed all over my body.
10. When youre in the middle of foreplay and they thrust a finger up your bum with NO warning.
11. When they drag it out because theyre waiting for you to orgasm first. Youre going to be waiting a while for that
12. Trying to go down on you in the morning when youre feeling really unsexy and unclean. Just gross.
13. Putting their fingers everywhere at once like theyre playing some sort of instrument. Far too confusing, you just dont know whats going on down there.
14. When they think its a good idea to stick objects in you. Just no.
15. Casually trying to have anal sex without asking and without lube. It does not just slip in there.
16. Being so aggressive with their hands during foreplay that they pretty much give you internal bleeding.
17. Nipple biting. It just f*****g hurts.
18. Pulling your hair so hard you scream and your eyes water.
19. Baggy boxers. Eww.
20. Man stubble. And not the type thats on his face.
21. When a bloke wants to do 69 but insists hes on top, so you basically suffocate under him. Vom.
22. Eating fried chicken before a blow job. Pretty much the worst taste imaginable.
23. When men rush foreplay and think youre going to orgasm from 27 seconds.
24. Wanting to ejaculate on your face, in your hair, in your eyes.
25. Being passive aggressive when they cant make you orgasm. So sexy.
26. Trying to remove underwear with their teeth. What even is that?
27. Not cleaning properly. Its not attractive to taste urine.
s